How Creating Boundaries Can Help You Rest and Reset
How Creating Boundaries Can Help You Rest and Reset
As Christians, we often feel obligated to do everything all the time. And God has not asked us to live that way.
Photo by Dan Burton on Unsplash
Welcome to the 71st post of The Aim and Soar Life, a weekly newsletter about faith, personal growth, and lifestyle that provides actionable, relatable, and biblically rooted content to help you live abundantly and GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Happy Sunday!
We are still rocking July with our theme: Beyond Your Best Life! Check out the other posts if you haven’t read them already.
This summer is giving me the rest I need, and I am enjoying every moment.😍
All you doers, movers, and shakers, this post is for you! It’s time to sit down and relax! Even if you can’t take the vacation of your dreams, make time to rest and reset weekly. Set some time aside for yourself. Create boundaries to avoid burnout.
True story. A family member had a gathering a few years ago, and I was expected to attend. There was one problem, however. It was a Saturday, and anyone who truly knows me knows that Saturday is my day of rest. It’s non-negotiable.
That doesn’t mean that I’m not flexible. I can be. But generally, I do not attend a lot of bridal showers, baby showers, or other events on Saturdays. Now and then I make exceptions, like when it’s the wedding or birthday of a close family member or special friend.
For the most part, I’m more apt to make exceptions when I can attend an event after 4 p.m.
This allows me to rest almost all day to rejuvenate for the work week ahead.
So, I said, “No.”
When I was asked what else I would be doing during the gathering, I simply said, “Looking out the window.”
As you can imagine, my response didn’t sit too well with some of my family members, but I saw no need to make excuses for how I wanted to spend my time.
I’m not a meanie. But these are the facts: I lived an hour’s drive away from the gathering and I knew it would take me at least an hour or more to prepare for the gathering. Then, I would have been expected to stay a few hours—at least two. I would have been going with my mom, and she is the life of the party, so it usually ends up being 3 to 4 hours of socializing. After that, it would be an hour's drive back home.
I was staring a minimum of FIVE hours in the face, and I had to be up for church in the morning.😳
“Nope. I can’t do it. Absolutely not.” I said, as my mother tried to guilt trip encourage me.😂
Boundaries.
I’ve learned over the years that when I bend, break, and ignore the boundaries I’ve set for myself, I am always resentful afterward. And that’s no way for a woman of God to live. It’s a bad look.
That day, I knew I needed to rest. My day job can be stressful, and I needed to reboot and reflect on the one day I could do it until the next seven days.
As Christians, we often feel obligated to do everything all the time. And God has not asked us to live that way. For some of us, we are trying to prove our worth by saying yes to everything that is asked of us—even at church.
Church burnout is real! In many cases, the same few people are doing all the work all the time.
If you want to be fit for service to God and others, here are three things you can do this week:
1. Establish Boundaries
If you are running around stressed out, fatigued, and resentful, you are no good to anyone. Learn to rest and reset by creating a dedicated time when you can shut down, rest, and reset.
If you have small children, get a trusted babysitter so that your time is uninterrupted. When my son was young, I had a neighbor who had a son around the same age, and we gave each other breaks by taking turns keeping the kids some weekends.
This worked out perfectly.
Find you a “buddy,” which could even be a grandparent willing to help.
If you have a spouse, discuss the need for dedicated “me” time and come up with a plan so that both of you can benefit from creating dedicated time to rejuvenate.
2. Don’t be afraid to say, “No.”
The world won’t stop if you don’t do everything that’s asked of you. Saying no protects your physical and mental health.
People mean well when they ask for your help. It’s a good thing to be thought of as one who can assist others. However, others aren’t always aware of the other commitments you have in your life when they ask you to take on new tasks at church or work. You must learn to protect your space and your sanity by saying no.
God isn’t telling you to do everything! Pray and ask what He wants you to be committed to before you agree to take on new assignments at church.
At work, be honest with your boss and let him or her know that you want to do a great job at whatever tasks you are assigned. Therefore, you may not be able to do everything. One more committee can push a sane person over the edge!
Find out what the priorities are and focus on those.
3. Give Yourself Some Grace
You aren’t perfect, so release yourself from the pressure of proving your worth through “service.” Superhuman people don’t exist. Stress and burnout are waiting for those who ignore this advice.
Relax and take time for yourself. It’s not selfish, it’s necessary for your growth.
Banish the guilt of not being able to be everywhere at all times. That is a job for God only!
You can’t be a part of every ministry, committee, or family event. Choose the things that allow you to have the greatest impact.
We feel guilty when we have to say no and shouldn’t. God gives us His strength, but the physical body needs rest. I say it all the time: Even Jesus rested. And encouraged His disciples to do so as well! Ahem. That’s YOU!😉
30 The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. 31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place
Mark 6:30-32, NIV
If the God of the universe needed rest in His physical body, then you can bet your last buck you need it too!
Create boundaries. Rest and reset. You are worth it!
Peace and Love
Until Next Time,
GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Sherrhonda😍
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