Welcome to the 10th issue of The Aim and Soar Life, a weekly Christian personal growth and lifestyle newsletter that provides actionable, relatable, biblically rooted content to help you live abundantly and GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Hello Friend!
Happy First Sunday! The theme for May is relationships. Throughout my monthly posts on this theme, I hope you find something valuable that grows you in the Spirit. If you do, pass it along to someone else. Sharing something that benefitted you may very well bless someone else too.
HURT
Unlike other hurts we experience, family hurt can wound us to the core. Those that are closest to us have the ability to hurt us more deeply than others.
We have certain expectations for family members that we don’t have for others, and the pain from misunderstandings, disagreements, and betrayals can leave us emotionally paralyzed and unforgiving.
God doesn’t want us to live in ways that are unpeaceable or unforgiving when it comes to others, even if our feelings are justifiable. We can be “right” in a disagreement, but it doesn’t give us permission to be vengeful or unforgiving. Romans 12:18 provides a solution to the problem.
If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Romans 12:18, NKJV
I’m here to tell you that the “all men” in Romans 12:18 includes family members!😂
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR FEELINGS
One of the things we tend to do when we are angry is to pretend that we don’t care. It seems that sometimes the more hurt we are by something or someone, the more we say things like, “I really don’t care anymore.” When the truth is, we care an awful lot. Saying that we don’t care is a way to avoid feeling the pain we experience when people let us down.
We may ignore our family members or stop speaking to them as a “punishment” for their infraction. We may even take the opportunity to put them down publicly when we have the opportunity. However, what we need to do is admit how we feel.
Instead of saying, “I don’t care,” you should admit how you feel. If someone hurts you, you need to tell yourself that you were hurt by the individual(s)—even if you are unable to talk to the person who hurt you.
JOURNALING
You need to be honest with yourself first and then you need to be honest with God. You’ve got to put it all on the table.
When you experience conflict or hurt, journaling is an excellent way to release anger and pain. This is often necessary so that you don’t make an already bad situation worse.
When we speak from a place of anger or pain, we can do irreparable damage to relationships. It’s best to have a period of cooling off, and journaling can help you do that.
DON’T HARBOR ANGER
Eleven years ago, my mom lost her husband to cancer. It was one of the most difficult times of her life. I’m a mommy’s girl, and my mother is my closest friend. When she is in pain, so am I.
I remember feeling devastated that I couldn’t “solve” her problem. As an only child, I was used to being there for my mom, doing whatever I could, and I took pride in the fact that I was always available to support my mom in any way. But in that situation, I felt helpless. Sure, I took over all day-to-day responsibilities for my mom, but I couldn’t heal her heart.
What angered me the most during that time, was that certain family members my mom had done a lot for over the years, were not there for her like I felt they should have been.
Yes, she had tons of support from close friends, her church members, and other family members. But those family members whom I felt should have stood at the ready for her, really let me down. I was angry and I stayed angry—for years.
FORGIVE
Years later, when I was finally able to talk to my mom about the situation, she reminded me that I needed to “let it go” and forgive. She had forgiven them, so I needed to forgive as well.
This took me some time, but I got there by admitting how angry I was and giving it to God. Being a Christian doesn’t mean we are perfect; it means we are a work in progress.
Even when a person doesn’t ask for forgiveness, you still need to forgive. It takes the weight off your heart. It releases the tension and stress from you. In many cases, people aren’t even aware of the level of pain they have caused you. God calls us to forgive.
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
In cases where there has been molestation, rape, abuse, or adultery, forgiveness is still necessary for your well-being. That doesn’t mean that the offender escapes legal or relational consequences. It doesn’t mean that you have to continue a relationship with the offender.
It means that you are releasing the pain so that you can be spiritually, emotionally, and mentally well. Forgiveness is for you. It is right by God, and it is freeing. It’s for your well-being.
GET SUPPORT
There are some situations that require professional assistance. If you have experienced family hurt or trauma that has caused mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, and you haven’t been able to “get past” it with prayer and forgiveness, don’t hesitate to reach out to a Christian counselor or other mental health professional.
God wants you to be whole. He has gifted mental health professionals to assist you in cases like these. There is no need to be ashamed to seek help. Healing from hurt is a journey. Some journeys are meant to be taken with support from others. God Bless!
Meet on the web:
email: sherrhonda@sherrhondadenice.com
Until Next Time,
GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Sherrhonda😍