If You Want to Be Loved...
Allow God to love you like you've never been loved before
Welcome to the 50th post of The Aim and Soar Life, a weekly Christian personal growth and lifestyle newsletter that provides actionable, relatable, and biblically rooted content to help you live abundantly and GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
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I hope last week was great for you. If it wasn’t, I pray that this week will put a smile on your face! 😍The theme for February is GOOD LOVE and I hope today’s post will be a blessing to you or to someone else in your life. Feel free to pass it on!
I was “snooping” on social media the other day and a young lady expressed her frustration with waiting on God. She commented that she has been noticing that a lot of women in their 50s are either single, have never been married, or have never had any children. A part of her wants to wait on God, but she fears she will end up like these women.
She admitted that she was ready to take matters into her own hands, so I responded to her comment and implored her to wait on God.
I know firsthand the pain that comes from going outside of God’s will—especially when what you really want is to love and to be loved.
Don’t Take Matters into Your Own Hands
If you are a single Christian, I am fully aware that these are some tough times to be dating and seeking a mate. The world has a strong influence on dating life. Some Christians have even adopted the world’s standards for dating, putting physical intimacy before marriage and/or engaging in “serial monogamy” (moving from one sexual relationship to another very quickly). When this happens, a domino effect of pain, broken trust and emotional damage are likely to occur.
I learned some of these things the hard way! But like I always say, that’s a whole other post!
So, what do you do when you are a single Christian and desire to have a loving relationship with someone of the opposite sex and God seems to be taking too long to bring you a mate, and your dreams of being married and having a family are evaporating before your eyes?
Maybe you have experienced the death of a spouse or have suffered through a painful divorce. Have you become frustrated and resentful while waiting impatiently? Do you feel sorry for yourself or do you become jealous when someone else finds happiness?
I can be transparent and tell you that I have felt all many of those feelings, but what I have learned is that you really do have to wait on God. Sorry, there is no secret “sauce.”
Wait on the Lord
If you want to be loved and share your love with someone, waiting is par for the course. David said it best in Psalm 27:14, “Wait on the Lord.”
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Psalm 27:14, NKJV
For any and everything you want or need, whether it be to have a mate or to deal with your enemies, you must learn to wait on God.
God knows what the future holds for you. If you decide to “force” a relationship or worse, “concoct” a relationship based on what you see and feel, it can go wrong rather quickly because the truth is we just don’t know what we need the way God does. He knows everything. He sees everything. Most of all, He has a plan for you.
Fall Madly in Love with God First
Next, if you want to be loved and to share your love with someone, learn to love God first. That’s right. Learn to give God your all. For me, this is a daily process, because the flesh wants to pursue other things as substitutes for God’s love.
You must be madly in love with God before you are anywhere close to being ready to love someone else! Experiencing emotional damage from bad relationships taught me that.
When you are madly in love with God, you will put His desires above your own and anyone else’s. You won’t compromise what God wants for what you want, because not disappointing or offending God will be of the utmost importance to you.
I am in a season of learning to love God more deeply. My prayer these days is to make God smile. Honey, let me tell you, I know I miss the mark many days.
I can start my day off by having a great time reading God’s word, praying, and sitting in His presence. Then I get in my car, and on the way to work someone is driving too slowly or cuts me off in traffic and the Holy Spirit has to check me about my words and my attitude.
I realize I need more time with the Lord to adjust the things in me that don’t align with His will.
Learning to love God more deeply involves full surrender to Him. It means learning to move, respond, and think in ways that please Him. This includes how you handle your enemies and people who seem to be dead set on doing you wrong!
Allow God to Love You the Way You Need to Be Loved
There was once a time in my life when I was still broken by events that occurred in my childhood, in my failed marriage, and in a failed on-and-off relationship that I had stubbornly attempted to hold together with imaginary paper clips and staples. Yes, I was ridiculous!😂
I remember wanting to be loved so badly by Mr. On-and-Off, although God had clearly shown me by way of Mr. On-and-Off’s actions, that he wasn’t the one for me.
My pastor and I shared a laugh one day because I told him about a sermon he preached several years ago titled, “Don’t Get Played” which should have served as a warning to me back then.
Mr. On-and-Off had popped back into my life and I was considering giving it another chance! I had reservations and the Holy Spirit was telling me “No” despite all the sweetness Mr. On-and-Off was displaying. Needless to say, I got played! 😩
Why did I allow this person to come back into my life or to come in and out of my life? It’s simple: I wasn’t healed from the past—not my past with him nor my own past.
Most people that know me would probably consider me to be a confident person, but there is a place in all of us where self-doubt lives. It causes us to question our self-worth and worthiness to be loved by another person.
To put it plainly, the self-doubt in our lives will lie to us and tell us that we are not worthy, so we accept behaviors from others that we shouldn’t.
You are worthy because God calls you His own. We must allow God to heal the parts of us that need healing and allow Him to love us the way we need to be loved.
When we are too busy focusing on love outside of God, we don’t take the time to listen to what He is saying to us, nor do we pay attention to what He is showing us.
God’s love doesn’t always feel good to us because His love may block us from something we want (like Mr. On-and-Off) that isn’t good for us.
God’s love, however, is always peaceful and beneficial to us. He won’t leave you broken. He won’t tear you down and make you feel worthless. He will shower you with protection. He will provide continual grace for your growth, and mercy for your mess-ups. So, allow God to love you like you’ve never been loved before!
Peace and Love to You!
Until Next Time,
GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
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