What Having Covid Taught Me About Love, Loss, and Living Life to the Fullest
We must learn that we can’t “fix” other people and we can't heal their hurt—that’s God’s job.
Welcome to the 25th issue of The Aim and Soar Life, a weekly Christian personal growth and lifestyle newsletter that provides actionable, relatable, biblically rooted content to help you live abundantly and GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Hey Fam!
Last year, I thought I was going to die. You need to know that I haven’t been afraid of death since I gave my life to Christ over 25 years ago, but last year, death seemed closer than ever. I contracted Covid-19 in early April last year and I was doing fine, “toughing it out” until one day, I passed out in my bathroom at home while I was alone. When I finally came to (I don’t know how long I was out) I knew my health had taken a turn.
A trip to the emergency room revealed that I had pneumonia in both lungs. The week prior, I had felt a heaviness in my chest that wouldn’t subside. I was already aware that I had Covid before the day I passed out, so I didn’t think much of the feeling in my chest.
When the emergency room doctor came to tell me that they would be keeping me at the hospital for observation due to me having pneumonia, shortness of breath, and extreme fatigue, she held my hand in hers (with her gloves on LOL😂) and rubbed it compassionately as she told me, “We’re going to keep you for observation because with situations like yours, we’ve seen patients’ conditions go from bad to worse very quickly, and you may not have enough time to get back to us if we allow you to go home…”
Reflections
I think every hospital in Southeastern Michigan was full that week. The hospital I was in was bursting at the seams. In the emergency room examination area, beds were lined against the wall with Covid patients waiting for rooms.
I wondered if my situation would turn for the worse like the ER doctor had mentioned. I could breathe on my own without a ventilator, but the doctor had caused me to wonder if she knew something that I didn’t. I had heard of people in my same situation who hadn’t made it out of the hospital alive.
I began to reflect on my life. When I thought of my family and friends, I had good memories and happy thoughts that made me smile. I prayed that God would be with my family and friends if it was time for me to come home and be with Him. Although I felt I had so much more to do here, I knew that I had been serving in the areas God had called me by teaching the Word at my church, publishing Christian books, and serving as a therapist and educator in my secular profession. I was at peace with my life and my relationships—except for one person.
Not All Love is Good Love
The thought of one person filled me with sadness and regret. I’ll call him JD for John Doe (Yeah, I know it’s very original😂). As I lay in that hospital bed thinking of JD, not only did I experience physical pain in my chest from Covid, but my heart also hurt emotionally. JD had brought more pain and grief to my life than anyone I’d ever known. Our “friendship” had soured so many times over and I would always attempt to understand his past and his emotional baggage. I’d forgive his trespasses against me and try to love him through it. Our on-again-off-again relationship through the years had been emotionally draining for me (Honey, the story could be a whole book. Hmm…😂).
But I called JD to make peace. I told him that I loved him and that if I had hurt him in any kind of way, I was sorry. I did this knowing full well that I had done everything in my power to be loving, honest, and kind to him. I made peace with him so that I wouldn’t leave this life feeling any emotional pain or anger.
When I was done talking to JD, I resolved that if God allowed me more time to live, I would not come to the end of my life with emotional pain, grief, or regret. I would spend more time nurturing relationships and friendships that blessed me emotionally and spiritually. I resolved that I would not allow anyone to rob me of my self-worth or happiness. I would appreciate the little things in life and not spend so much time thinking about, worrying about, and being consumed by the negative, heartbreaking things of this world.
Loss
I learned that it’s okay to let some people go. It’s not everyone’s mission to come into your life and bless you. Some—including those you have invited into your life—will come and destroy you because they are destroyed inside. It’s a cliché but it’s true, hurt people hurt other people.
Some people (male and female) are natural-born gaslighters (manipulators who make you question your judgment or intuition). Some are so damaged on the inside that the only thing they can do for you is damage you—if you allow them to stay in your life.
We must learn that we can’t “fix” other people and we can’t heal their hurt—that’s God’s job.
Our love for others won’t make them love us or treat us right. A person must operate with an internal godly standard for them to be able to see you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. When one truly loves God, he or she will try to demonstrate the character of God.
Living Life to the Fullest
I was discharged from the hospital after a day and a half. They sent me home with steroids for my pneumonia. I was still walking like a zombie, and so weak and out of breath that I felt like I was dying. For a few weeks, I slept in my living room on the couch with my front door unlocked so my family and friends would have easy access to me in case of an emergency.
It took me from April to July of last year—12 whole weeks—to be able to walk more than a short distance without feeling like I had just run a marathon. When I was able to walk “normally” again, I woke up early in the morning each day and walked to a nearby middle school. For about an hour, I walked the track there. My breathing wasn’t like it was before Covid, but I was grateful I could walk and breathe much better.
During that “hour of power” walking the track, I listened to different sermons and prayed to God about my life. I put before Him all the things that concerned me, and I thanked Him for keeping me and healing my body from Covid-19. I still have long-Covid symptoms so it’s a process.
The Lord will work out his plans for my life—
for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever.
Don’t abandon me, for you made me. Psalm 138:8, NLT
I truly saw God in nature. I appreciated and admired the way He crafted the trees, the grass, and the flowers I passed. I enjoyed the singing and flying of the birds that adorned the sky. I marveled at the squirrels that ran around playing. The feel of the wind on my face brought me smiles. And even when it rained on me, I appreciated that too! I expressed my gratitude for God’s awesomeness. I thanked God for the gifts He has given me to teach His Word and create stories that bless others.
Living life to the fullest is about taking the life you are given and making the BEST of it.
Take time this week to appreciate the small but beautiful things in life. Allow God to minister to your heart if there are any areas that need healing. Separate yourself from people and things that wreak havoc on your life mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Allow God to reveal the gifts He has placed in you if you are not sure what they are. And if you do know your purpose and calling, by all means, walk in it. Do what you were sent here to do! Tell your family and friends you love them. Time is not promised to any of us.
Until Next Time,
GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Sherrhonda 😍
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