Building Financial Resilience
Financial resilience begins with a change in your mindset. You are not what you've done or what you've experienced due to life's circumstances.
Welcome to the 60th post of The Aim and Soar Life, a weekly newsletter about faith, personal growth, and lifestyle that provides actionable, relatable, and biblically rooted content to help you live abundantly and GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Greetings!
Did April fly by or what? Nationally, April is known as Financial Literacy Month, but over here in The Aim and Soar Life neck of the woods, I focused on resilience. With the aid of the Holy Spirit, I shared what was in my heart on the subject of resilience, hoping that you would be blessed by the posts. Please leave a comment and let me know that you were!😍
I thought it would be great to close out the month with a post on financial resilience in honor of Financial Literacy Month. And by the looks of the economy right now, it’s giving, “We need financial resilience.”
Let me start by telling you about the time a mortgage servicer/loan officer completely humiliated me. It was twenty-plus years ago. I was recently divorced and drowning in debt, courtesy of my ex-husband who’d left me with $56K in bills that were in my name (because my credit was better).😂 No worries. We are cordial now, but the story must go on.🤣
The Beginning of Financial Resilience Sometimes Comes From Hard Times
My life was upside down. I had a two-year-old I was forced to raise by myself, and I was buried in debt I could not pay. I felt trapped. I was trapped! Then a family member told me about refinancing my home. I investigated it and someone at the hair salon I frequented connected me with a “friend” of theirs who happened to work at a mortgage company. I called and left the person a message.
My first interaction with “the guy,” Mr. Loan Officer Extraordinaire (who turned out to be not so extraordinary at all), was over the phone. He had called me back when I was in line at a place of business waiting to make arrangements on a bill. I conveyed this to him, but he was eager to get my business and wanted me to answer a few questions so he could “get started on my file.”
He said something like, “I just need to ask a few short questions.” That should have been my first red flag. He had no care for what I had just told him. I really wasn’t able to discuss anything with him at the time, because of where I was, but I acquiesced.
He asked about my monthly payments, and I gave him the nitty gritty. I tried to be discreet as possible while standing in line. When we got to my car payment, I told him the amount and he responded with a condescending chuckle. Then he talked down to me. “Exactly what kind of car do you drive?” he asked, “Because I don’t even pay that much for my car. What do you have a Mercedes or something?” He was still chuckling.
I told him very simply, “Sir, it’s just a Toyota Camry.” Every question he asked was condescending.
“Wow,” he said with a hint of disgust.
Bad Credit
I didn’t have the privacy to tell him that due to my divorce, attorney fees, and the 56K I had sitting on my back, my credit was trash when I purchased the car, which had been a few months before my phone conversation with him.
You see, when my old car died (the engine went poof!), I had no money. No savings. Nothing. And no one could help me. To top it all off, I still owed a balance on it. If you’ve ever had bad credit, then you know you get monster interest rates. And I mean they are scarier than Nightmare on Elm Street.
That Camry note included the balance from my old car and what I call bad credit tax, you know, that Freddie Krueger rate.😂
Desperate Times
I desperately needed a car to get back and forth to work, so I signed my name on the dotted line for a car payment that was over $600. 😳I know I could still faint right now, just thinking about it.
At the time, however, I was trying to stop my world from spinning. Trying to take care of my son, and trying not to succumb to the depression you experience when your family is ripped apart in an instant by divorce. I was trying to get by.
I was still wrapping my head around my son’s visitation schedule, as he trekked between two households every week and the fights with my ex-husband that occurred over child support or the lack thereof.
I was barely keeping my head above water, and a person whom I turned to for help was criticizing me, talking down to me, and making fun of my predicament, as if I were a silly child. I was already at my lowest in life, I didn’t need him to make me feel any worse.
Not once did he ask about me, or why the note was so high.
He could have asked in a way that was more humane.
And no, I did not work with him. Just in case you were wondering.
The Vow to be Compassionate.
I made a vow to myself that day that I would always uplift people who came to me for help. As a social worker/therapist, I pride myself on that.
When someone comes to you with their situation, show compassion. You can’t issue tough love until you have a relationship established with someone.
I help people focus on the now. I help them to focus on how to move beyond their mistakes.
We use the past as a rear-view mirror only. We take note of what happened, so we don’t make the same mistakes, but most of our time is focused on the road ahead.
Let’s build some financial resilience together!
1. You Are Not Your Credit Score or Your Net Worth
The foundation for building financial resilience is understanding that you are not your credit score or your net worth.
Yes, we should be responsible and pay our bills—and pay them on time. However, when life hits hard, whether you caused it by mishandling your money and not being a good steward over it, or whether it’s due to life circumstances such as an illness that puts you in medical debt, the loss of a job, or a divorce, you must remember that you are a human being.
Don’t reduce who you are to numbers on a spreadsheet. Good credit gives you a little more leverage in life when it comes to big purchases, but life lessons give you a lifetime of wisdom.
Evaluate your situation so that you can take measures to rectify it, but don’t evaluate yourself based on your situation. You are more than your credit score or net worth.
Focus on what you do have. You have talents, gifts, and skills, God has given you to take care of yourself. They can be used to help you out of a financial bind.
I’m glad God is not like us. He doesn’t say, “Well you know, you are just stupid. That was so stupid what you did! Look at you! What a shame!” Instead, He tells us that if we desire wisdom, we should ask Him.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:5, NIV
When we find ourselves in a financial mess, if it’s our fault due to overspending, we should confess it.
Just like any other sin, we should tell God we did wrong. Then we should repent and turn away. I don’t know about you, but I’ve had to say a few times in my life, “Lord, I’m sorry. I have not been a good steward of what you have given me. Please forgive me and help me to do better. Show me what to do.”
Then I pray and ask Him to give me the wisdom to help myself.
You are a person. You are valuable to God. When you make a mistake, financial or otherwise, God will use it to grow you, never to put you down.
So don’t allow anyone else to belittle you either. Your net worth tells what you have not who you are.
Financial resilience begins with a change in your mindset. You are not what you’ve done or what you’ve experienced due to life’s circumstances.
Ask yourself questions like, “What can I do to help myself?” and “What can I learn from this experience?”
Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself some grace. Remember, we are looking ahead not behind for solutions.
2. Finances are Cyclical but God is Constant
During the crash of 2008, I met a woman at the grocery store who told me about a friend of hers who had saved nearly a million dollars by the time she retired. Well, you know what happened. The market went kaput, and stocks came tumbling down. As a result, many of us lost a lot of money.😩
The woman in the store was full of life and joy, in contrast to the story she told about her friend who was suffering from depression because not only did her friend lose half her money in the market crash, but health problems were also eating away at what was left of her account.
The woman shared with me that her friend had become bitter due to the loss of her money even though she had decent health, despite her challenges.
One thing I will always remember from this encounter is the bright outlook the woman had.
She revealed to me that she and her husband had lost a great deal of money too, but she was happy to be alive. She recounted all the reasons she had to be happy, like her relationship with her husband and her darling grandchildren. She was a walking sunbeam.
She said, “Money comes and goes, but God is still blessing us.”
She was grateful and she was financially resilient because she understood that money and finances are cyclical. She was resilient because even though she had lost money, she knew that she was still being blessed by God.
So, I say to you, it might be a little tight right now or a lot tight. There is no denying that inflation is taking a bite out of all our wallets.
But the stock market and the economy are cyclical. They go up, and we have plenty. They go down, and we have to scale back on luxuries, take second jobs, and tighten our budgets.
In all of this, we are still being blessed, just like the woman in the grocery store told me.
Think about the blessings you have during these turbulent financial times. Think about the small joys in life.😍
Know that trouble doesn’t last always. This is part of the life cycle. Do what you can to preserve yourself financially, but don’t let the economy or your lack of money ruin your ability to bless God.
He is your portion and your strength. He is still with you. He is constant. Not like the stock market or your bank account which may be up one minute and down the next. Let this be a reason for your resilience.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26, NIV
3. Learn All You Can and Be Generous
I love my mom because whenever you come to her with a problem, she never puts you down. She listens and focuses on helping you to solve whatever problem you may have.
And then she will say something like, “In the meantime…”
This is the cue she gives you to remind you that while your life might feel like it is doing a death spin, focus on the things you can handle.
That’s what my mom’s “In the meantime” statements mean.
You must focus on what you can do.
When it comes to financial resilience, you can build it by learning from others. You can learn from their successes and their mistakes.
Sometimes someone else’s mistakes can save your life and make you wealthy (I’ve got a whole book coming on the topic).😍
Read articles about preserving wealth or growing wealth in a turbulent economy. You can also find articles about how to stretch your dollar at the grocery store, or what food pantries are available in your area.
Learn all you can about finances and apply the principles slowly. I say slowly because if you try to do too much at once you might become overwhelmed. Take your financial resilience at a slow and steady pace by implementing the things you can, and making small changes that add up to great rewards.
I love to read about financial literacy, investing, and generational wealth.
When we master our money, we can do more for the Kingdom of God. We can give to more ministries, and to others who need assistance.
If you just don’t have any finances to give right now, be generous with your time. Volunteer at your church. Use your gifts, talents, and skills to bless others.
Give of yourself.
Generosity is more than about giving money, it’s giving from your heart.
And while you are on this journey, don’t forget what God told Joshua. It has been the foundation scripture for our theme of resilience this month.
9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9, NIV
Peace and Love to you.
Check out this month’s other posts on Resilience:
Developing A Spirit of Resilience: Part One
Developing A Spirit of Resilience: Part Two
Until Next Time,
GROW YOU. GOD’S WAY.
Sherrhonda😍
P.S.
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